No really, tonight I am.
Let me explain,
I am smoking cigarettes out of my bedroom window and putting my ashes in a pop can. Just like when I was a teenager hiding it from my mom.
I quit smoking like about 6-7 years ago and I am under and enormous amount of stress so I bought a pack and I don't want my kids to see me because they know what they are.
I really don't want to get addicted again so I am hoping that I can smoke a couple and then quit.
You see my step-dad is in the ICU, #31 left me and #3 broke her finger last night. And before you ask, no I am not in a soap opera, because if I were, then I would have an endless supply of baby-sitters and money and of course, a sexy man on the side!!! LoL
I called #31 and told him that whenever he was ready to admit how much he loves and needs me, SINCERELY, he can come home.
So, no, I do not think this is a permanent thing but it just stinks in the time being.
Thanks for all of the comment love, It REALLY does help.