Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I'm A Sneaky Teenager Shhhhh

No really, tonight I am.

Let me explain,

I am smoking cigarettes out of my bedroom window and putting my ashes in a pop can. Just like when I was a teenager hiding it from my mom.

I quit smoking like about 6-7 years ago and I am under and enormous amount of stress so I bought a pack and I don't want my kids to see me because they know what they are.

I really don't want to get addicted again so I am hoping that I can smoke a couple and then quit.

You see my step-dad is in the ICU, #31 left me and #3 broke her finger last night. And before you ask, no I am not in a soap opera, because if I were, then I would have an endless supply of baby-sitters and money and of course, a sexy man on the side!!! LoL

I called #31 and told him that whenever he was ready to admit how much he loves and needs me, SINCERELY, he can come home.

So, no, I do not think this is a permanent thing but it just stinks in the time being.

Thanks for all of the comment love, It REALLY does help.


Emma said...


The whole situation sucks, and not knowing what the right thing to do is sucks even more. I know I love him, I just don't know if I am in love with him anymore. I don't really feel anything when we kiss, and we haven't had sex in months, mostly because I havent wanted him to touch me.

I care though, I wish I didn't part of me wishes I could hate him, but I don't... I wish I didn't care I wish something would just happen to let me know what was the right thing to do...

I hope 31 get's his stuff together and realizes how awsome you are and that his family needs him and that he's got responsibilities, things will get better. Till then, and after i'm here, vent to me as much or as little as you want!!

Emma said...


Greg said...

Hey put that cigarette down!

And hang in there!! :)

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