Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Heres A Long Rant....I Mean Update

Ok, I am going on something like 5 months of leaving my husband. Have I had my doubts?.........Hell Yea!!!!

But I always seem to be reminded, by him, that i made the best decision for me and my family. That man is STILL trying to control me. This time through money. He has always been the one to support our family, by his choice, so when I left, he cut me off of everything!!! Which some of you may be thinking, i deserve that but we do have 3 children together, so when he cuts me off, he cuts them off, and thats what I need to get through his big head.

Our first court date is coming up in a week. Its a temporary hearing to get him out of the house and me and our 3 children back in. Also for him to start paying child support and alimony. On a side note, I wasn't gonna take him for alimony but since he decided that he couldnt even help out with diapers or gas money once in awhile, im going to get whats mine then.

You would think that a real man would have just left the house and let his wife and 3 very young children stay in it, even if hes not the one doing the leaving, but no, not my husband. He straight up told me that he was not leaving the house or paying any money till he was court ordered to. So, go ahead #32, or however old you are now, the courts are just gonna see that as you not taking any responsibility, so be my guest, plead my case for me.

The next court date is not till January, so something tells me, this divorce is going to be a lot longer then I bargained for. But it's worth the wait. i have been unhappy for 10 years. We have not had a 6 month stretch in 10 years that has gone good. I am ready to be me again, whoever that is. I used to think people who said "I have to find myself" were crazy, I mean how could you not know who you are, what you like? But now I understand. Thats right where I am at. I don't know anything about myself. So throughout this blog, I might confuse you, but dont worry, your not alone, I confuse myself.

Well I gotta go. i am going to be posting more now, so I will keep all of you updated.

Heres the truth for today. I would not wish being alone on anyone!! Thats got to be the worst part. Going to bed alone. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make the feelings go away, I just have to go through it and get through it.


Made by Lena