Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Home Sweet Home

Not so sure how I feel about the title but it works for now:) Yes, I am living at home with my husband, yes I said husband and 3 children. I think I am going to call the divorce off........for now.

I am so sure divorce lawyers are used to clients going back and forth so much, I mean really I have only changed my mind 3 times!! I guess I am entitled. I have invested 11 years of my life into this man and we have 3 children together. And before you go there, I know, children are not a good reason to stay in the marriage.

Lets just say, I have #33 by the balls!! He knows I saw my lawyer, hes knows he would lose the house, lose his money and not see his children as much, so he is kissing the ground I walk on.

Now, I do also understand that he is only being so "good" because he is afraid to lose everything he has worked for his whole life. Im not dumb to that. But in the big picture, there is no physical abuse, no affairs, nothing too major big. We are just 2 totally different people living in the same house. We definitely have our issues to work out and I guess, as of now, what im saying is, I am ok with trying this again.

You see, I actually live comfortably for the most part, my bills are paid, gas in my car, clothes on my back and food in my cabinets. So I am willing to get through the terrible fights to hopefully come to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyway, sorry this post kinda sucked, its late, I took a xanax to go to bed and im a little groggy and I barley make sense to myself!! Lol So feel free to post some comments. I do read them, I appreciate them all, even if I dont agree with some.

Oh, yea, I got my Internet hooked back up so I will be able to post a lot more often!!! Woo Hoo!!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Ok Really Quick

So, I dont have Internet at home and i havnt for awhile, hopefully soon though. Well drum roll please...................................I went back to, well, actually hes #33 now.

Yes, i did it, im not proud of myself but he made it sound sooooo good. He gave the whole, I can except you for who you are, I can love you for you, you know all the stuff us women just thrive on.

And let me tell you, he did love me for who I was, he did except me for me...........................for about 2months. Now we are back to me being not right with God, me being a slut even though ive been very faithful.

lets just say we had a little or big tornado run through my house last night, I like to call them "Rage Blackouts" Yes, #33 destroyed everything that means anything to me. He didnt just throw my stuff around, he broke my stuff!!!

You know, they say a leopard never loses its spots, or was it a cheetah, i dont know but you get the picture.

So, yes I am still cleaning for the rich and famous and I dont see myself quitting for a long time, Yes, I still wear my pants, Yes I am still being me!!!

Well, I am probably going to see my lawyer tomorrow so wish me luck and who knows, maybe after the 6th or 7th time of leaving him, it will actually stick!


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