I really have no idea why I picked that for a title. I guess it just fit:)
Things are still pretty much the same. We have these little text message wars and let me tell you, his cut deep. I get the, "your worthless" "Your a poor excuse for a mother" and so on.
He just keeps telling me that I would just repent and get right with the God, everything would get better. I just keep on telling him to focus on yourself and how you can improve and let me focus on me.
I mean, c'mon, how can he even think about changing when he spends his days thinking of things I need to change or improve. I mean I will admit my faults in this marriage but I am not totally to blame. He plays his part too and unless we BOTH make some changes, we are not going to make it.
I am just seriously going through the motions of marriage lately. I am half way debating on going back to the lawyer and started a divorce. I mean our divorce will probably take years anyway since he wants the kids, he doesn't want to pay and he won't sign any papers.
But I will be Dam*** if I let my girls grow up with a man like that. I mean I not one of those feminist or anything close to that but I don't want my girls growing up thinking that at any minute, God can squish you like a bug. I want my kids to get convictions based off their relationship with God, not some man shoving it down our throats.
I am really not sure what to do. I have tried talking to him but it ALWAYS goes back to, that I just need to repent and get right with God. And i'm not even sure what I am supposed to be getting right!!!!
Yes, I work a part-time job, I wear capris and I smoke. And yes, I am not going to church 3 times a week with him. To tell you the truth I can't even stomach walking into that building with him. But I do go on Sunday mornings and Sunday nights.
Oh, I wish life had an on and off button because I would so hit the off button right now!!!
Please people, tell me something to cheer me up, jokes, stories, ANYTHING!!!
As always, thanks for listening to me rant:)