Well, it has been a super long time since I posted and believe me, its not because I have had little to say.
My divorce is finally under way! As of Aug 11th we had our first court date and the judge ordered my husband out of our home,gave him visitation to the kids and ordered him to pay child support and alimony.
I am the one who initially wanted out of this marriage, you could say I brought this divorce upon myself so I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. We were unhappy for so many years, I couldn't take all of the fighting and arguing anymore and my breaking point was when I saw it affecting my children. I am a gown women and to be honest I could of endured years and years of emotional abuse but my children cant. I couldn't let them see that this is what a "normal" marriage was anymore.
So although I have part of the battle over, I have begun a whole new battle. The one of being a single working mother to 3 children trying to maintain a household. It is mentally and physically exhausting. I am soon gonna post more details on all of the proceedings but I just wanted to get you all caught up on the latest with me and my husband.
He makes it so hard to even miss him due to the fact that every time we talk on the phone he goes on and on about what an idiot I am. I am not even sure if the man is capable of being nice to me. He claims he doesn't want to get divorced and that he wants his family but he has never once asked me back. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for the man to come back on bended knee and beg for me but he wont even fight a little for me. But he still goes to church 3 times a week in his 3 piece suit playing the victim of "Oh my wife left me". He may be able to fool all of the church people and his family but he does not fool me or God. He left this marriage long before I filed the papers. As a matter of fact, the only thing he has complained about is how much money he has to pay out a month and to be honest every time I receive a check, I just look at it as me getting reimbursed for the years of abuse I have endured. And no money doesn't make it better but I sure don't feel bad for the man.
He has already filed to get his child support and alimony lowered. Hey Jim, you could get it lowered if you would of just stood up and fought for your family a little bit!! He thinks im out just living life up, going out, drinking, partying, sleeping around, well, guess what?? Im not, im a mess inside, im a mess because the family I fought for so much, I can not keep it together!!
Anyway, we got through our first Christmas without eachother, I cant lie,it was rough but thanks to some close friends and family it was better then I expected.