Heres A Little Humor For Our Hump Day

A Couple Of Things I learned As An Adult


1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Monster-In-Law

I just thought I would add that my monster in law, soon to be ex monster in law is not such a monster after all!! Ha Ha She actually got me a Christmas present this year,which shocked me!! I mean she always gets me something but since I am divorcing her son,I just figured that no one on that side of the family would do anything for me.

Anyway, she got me a super soft fuzzy bath robe,I mean, I have like 3 of them already but I love them!! Anyway, I guess she does have a nice bone in her body after all!! Ha Ha

We always try to keep the level of communication open due to the kids, so I will continue to be cordial......as long as I don't have to spend or talk to her longer then 5 min!!!

Lets Play Catch Up

Well, it has been a super long time since I posted and believe me, its not because I have had little to say.

My divorce is finally under way! As of Aug 11th we had our first court date and the judge ordered my husband out of our home,gave him visitation to the kids and ordered him to pay child support and alimony.

I am the one who initially wanted out of this marriage, you could say I brought this divorce upon myself so I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. We were unhappy for so many years, I couldn't take all of the fighting and arguing anymore and my breaking point was when I saw it affecting my children. I am a gown women and to be honest I could of endured years and years of emotional abuse but my children cant. I couldn't let them see that this is what a "normal" marriage was anymore.

So although I have part of the battle over, I have begun a whole new battle. The one of being a single working mother to 3 children trying to maintain a household. It is mentally and physically exhausting. I am soon gonna post more details on all of the proceedings but I just wanted to get you all caught up on the latest with me and my husband.

He makes it so hard to even miss him due to the fact that every time we talk on the phone he goes on and on about what an idiot I am. I am not even sure if the man is capable of being nice to me. He claims he doesn't want to get divorced and that he wants his family but he has never once asked me back. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for the man to come back on bended knee and beg for me but he wont even fight a little for me. But he still goes to church 3 times a week in his 3 piece suit playing the victim of "Oh my wife left me". He may be able to fool all of the church people and his family but he does not fool me or God. He left this marriage long before I filed the papers. As a matter of fact, the only thing he has complained about is how much money he has to pay out a month and to be honest every time I receive a check, I just look at it as me getting reimbursed for the years of abuse I have endured. And no money doesn't make it better but I sure don't feel bad for the man.

He has already filed to get his child support and alimony lowered. Hey Jim, you could get it lowered if you would of just stood up and fought for your family a little bit!! He thinks im out just living life up, going out, drinking, partying, sleeping around, well, guess what?? Im not, im a mess inside, im a mess because the family I fought for so much, I can not keep it together!!

Anyway, we got through our first Christmas without eachother, I cant lie,it was rough but thanks to some close friends and family it was better then I expected.

Home Sweet Home

Not so sure how I feel about the title but it works for now:) Yes, I am living at home with my husband, yes I said husband and 3 children. I think I am going to call the divorce off........for now.

I am so sure divorce lawyers are used to clients going back and forth so much, I mean really I have only changed my mind 3 times!! I guess I am entitled. I have invested 11 years of my life into this man and we have 3 children together. And before you go there, I know, children are not a good reason to stay in the marriage.

Lets just say, I have #33 by the balls!! He knows I saw my lawyer, hes knows he would lose the house, lose his money and not see his children as much, so he is kissing the ground I walk on.

Now, I do also understand that he is only being so "good" because he is afraid to lose everything he has worked for his whole life. Im not dumb to that. But in the big picture, there is no physical abuse, no affairs, nothing too major big. We are just 2 totally different people living in the same house. We definitely have our issues to work out and I guess, as of now, what im saying is, I am ok with trying this again.

You see, I actually live comfortably for the most part, my bills are paid, gas in my car, clothes on my back and food in my cabinets. So I am willing to get through the terrible fights to hopefully come to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyway, sorry this post kinda sucked, its late, I took a xanax to go to bed and im a little groggy and I barley make sense to myself!! Lol So feel free to post some comments. I do read them, I appreciate them all, even if I dont agree with some.

Oh, yea, I got my Internet hooked back up so I will be able to post a lot more often!!! Woo Hoo!!

Ok Really Quick

So, I dont have Internet at home and i havnt for awhile, hopefully soon though. Well drum roll please...................................I went back to, well, actually hes #33 now.

Yes, i did it, im not proud of myself but he made it sound sooooo good. He gave the whole, I can except you for who you are, I can love you for you, you know all the stuff us women just thrive on.

And let me tell you, he did love me for who I was, he did except me for me...........................for about 2months. Now we are back to me being not right with God, me being a slut even though ive been very faithful.

lets just say we had a little or big tornado run through my house last night, I like to call them "Rage Blackouts" Yes, #33 destroyed everything that means anything to me. He didnt just throw my stuff around, he broke my stuff!!!

You know, they say a leopard never loses its spots, or was it a cheetah, i dont know but you get the picture.

So, yes I am still cleaning for the rich and famous and I dont see myself quitting for a long time, Yes, I still wear my pants, Yes I am still being me!!!

Well, I am probably going to see my lawyer tomorrow so wish me luck and who knows, maybe after the 6th or 7th time of leaving him, it will actually stick!